My letter

I am planning on printing this blog into a book for Paiton, which is why I try to blog so frequently. I decided to write my baby girl a letter today, her six month birthday, to let her know what she means to me so that she can look back on it one day.

Dear Paiton,
I love you. I have loved you since before you existed. Your daddy and I knew we wanted a perfect little girl and we got one. I have heard that some moms take a while to bond to their baby. That wasn't true for us. The moment you were born I knew you and I knew I needed you more than anything in the world; possibly more than you needed me. You were perfect with your crooked little cry and your big, blue eyes. Your ten fingers and toes were (and still are) the most precious thing I have ever seen.
Since you were born that Thursday morning I knew I could never leave you. I told Daddy I was quitting my job and that was that. And I did. You have been my side kick, my mini-me, ever since. I wouldn't change it for the world. I learned how to wash dishes with one arm, how to carry laundry up and down the stairs with you in the Bjorn sleeping. I learned that you hated being on your tummy and loved sleeping on your side. You get extremely sweaty when you sleep and I have to change my shirt after you take a nap on me. You loved sleeping in your Boppy and because the tag said not to let you I stayed awake most of the night, every night, just to make sure you were ok. I have slept with one eye open for the last six months.
As you got older I learned the spots where you are ticklish - your tummy, your thighs, and the bottom of your feet. I learned that you love having your hair washed. When you were tiny you hated being naked, but now you love it and you roll around like crazy when I'm changing your diaper. You make me laugh with your silly faces and your smile; your giggle and your big stories. We are each others best friends and constant company. The few times I have left you I have thought about you constantly and missed you like crazy. My days wouldn't be the same if they weren't spent with you in my arms or strapped to me. You won't sleep anywhere but next to me and that's my own fault, but I wouldn't change it. It is the most perfect feeling to sleep tangled up in your little body with your arms around my neck. Your daddy and I have never been happier than we are when we're with you.
You are the most beautiful and amazing thing I have ever seen and nothing will ever compare to you. You have shown me what a miracle is and I am so grateful to have you as my daughter. I can't believe you are already six months old. The time has flown by. I wish I could do it all over again - the sleepless nights, the screaming fits that last for hours, the poop explosions, everything. I would do it all again in a heartbeat just to have one smile from you. Luckily they're easier to get than that!
You are everything to me and I strive every day to be a good Mommy to you. Daddy and I love you and are so proud of you and we live to show you off. One day you will grow up and become a Mommy and you will know what I am feeling as I write this.
Tomorrow we will not do anything of huge importance. We will clean the house, eat a sandwich for lunch, buy you a sippy cup, do some laundry, clean the kitchen. But it will still be the best day of my life. Because every day you make me happier than the day before and every day you teach me something new. I always thought I'd be the one teaching you things. You are so big now, sitting up by yourself, playing with toys, eating food and Cheerios. You do so many funny things. When I was feeding you dinner tonight you screamed any time I gave you cereal and smiled when I gave you carrots. And you won, I threw out the cereal and only fed you carrots. You will always win baby girl.
You are my everything Pai Pai the baby. I love you and don't you ever forget it. You mean the world to me. I am so thankful for you and I can't wait to crawl into bed and snuggle you my little worm. Happy six month birthday.
Love,
Mommy